dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
