i jhust puked up my retainher.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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