Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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