Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
