it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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