North Korea, Best Korea!
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
