It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
