whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
