no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
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right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
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Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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