you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
