Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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