I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
