Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize