I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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