Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Randomize
