Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
