Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
