They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
