Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
