did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
