You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
