All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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