Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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