So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
