david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
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