yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
