you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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