I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He kissed a someone with a penis
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
sex in a hospital.. check
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
