Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
