he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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