wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
