To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Someone signed my nipple.
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