Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
