My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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