Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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