if you like me you must not know who I am
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
