saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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