I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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