He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize