you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
