Already got asked if we're dating
My nipple is on Facebook.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
