His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
