I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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