And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
