I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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