I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
