Sponge bath it is.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize
