he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
