Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
