JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
did you just send me my own nude
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
