If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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