Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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