ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
