I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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