But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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