Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
