Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
