Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
