Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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