All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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