I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
