She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
