He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
