I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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