That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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