After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
